14 Wise Reasons To Keep Your Relationship Private Not Secret - Olubunmi Mabel (2023)

FAQs

What does it mean to keep a relationship private but not a secret? ›

It's called being "private but not secret," and it's the exact opposite of power PDA. People in these relationships don't hide the fact that they're in a relationship, but they also aren't outwardly flaunting it, either.

Privacy is a basic right

Privacy in relationships, at its very core, is a fundamental right. You and your partner have the right to keep certain aspects of yourself and your relationships private. Keeping certain things private shows respect for your partner and helps the two of you to develop trust.

What is a Private Relationship? A private relationship is a more exclusive form of relationship where two people are committed to one another. The only people who know about their relationship are those close to them and they usually don't talk about it with others.

Stashing—sometimes referred to as pocketing—is when one person in a relationship makes the conscious decision to hide the other person from his or her inner circle, and yes, that includes both in real life and on social media.

Keeping a relationship secret can have the same effects as hiding any other part of who you are — it can make you feel anxious, isolated, insecure or jealous. That's not how a healthy relationship should make you feel.

Three-Month Rule: After a Break-Up

Basically, after a break-up, the three-month rule is a rule that says you and your ex are both given 3 months before entering the dating scene again. Just waiting it out, and mourning that your relationship ended. Just go on with your individual separate lives and see what happens.

Some people like to keep a relationship private when they're not sure where it's going. Still, others want to keep a relationship secret because they are also involved with another person, or not completely over their previous relationship.

In general, the following matters should not be discussed outside the relationship: Financial problems that you and/or your spouse are having. Details of your sex life. Family issues the two of you are experiencing.

Keeping Secrets and the Right to Privacy

It is important to remember that you do not have to share everything with another person in a relationship. Some things to remember in any relationship: You have the right to privacy in any relationship, including with your spouse, partner, and family.

When should you go public with a relationship? ›

Until and unless you're sure about your partner, you should definitely hold back from sharing your relationship status online. You must ask yourself if you're serious about it or not. Young couples are indecisive and generally impulsive, which makes them go on and off in a relationship.

A low-key relationship means the couple doesn't appreciate displaying their relationship publicly, except in the presence of close friends and family members. Meanwhile, many people have trouble categorizing their relationship as either a private or secret relationship. Simple!

There are many different types of relationships. This section focuses on four types of relationships: Family relationships, Friendships, Acquaintanceships and Romantic relationships.

Let's use these working definitions: Secret: information intentionally withheld for the purpose of avoiding consequences. Private: information intentionally withheld for the purpose of creating safety or protection of self or others.

According to the study, a back-burner is “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement”.

Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on.

'Bulldozers are people whose aggressive behaviour often intimidates you, the person you wish you could stand up to but feel you haven't got the confidence or the know-how to deal with. People who behave in this punchy, aggressive way are out to get their own way regardless of what other people think, do or say.

It makes you constrict, put up walls, and want to pull away. Secrets lead to hiding, holding back, and defensiveness. We disconnect to prevent our secret from being discovered. Plus, over time, secrets wear away at our own mental and physical health and diminish our ability to be close and connected.

Here's the No. 1 thing that 'destroys' relationships, say researchers who studied couples for 50 years. As a psychologist and sexologist, we've been studying relationships for more than 50 years combined, and we've found that no matter how you slice it, most of them fail because of poor communication.

Too much secrecy can be a red flag because the actions being kept secret can often be dangerous, illegal, disloyal, and/or abusive. Be advised though, there is a BIG difference between secrecy and privacy. We deserve to have some “me time” and we deserve to have time to take care of ourselves on our own terms.

What is the 90 days rule in a relationship? ›

What Is the 90-Day Rule for Dating and Why Does It Matter? The 90-day dating rule suggests waiting 90 days after you start dating someone to have sex with them. Both men and women can follow the 90-day dating rule as it's intended to help develop close and long-lasting relationships.

So what is it? The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years. The idea behind it is that prioritizing and planning to spend time together strengthens your relationship.

The 90-day rule states that temporary visa holders who marry or apply for a green card within 90 days of arriving in the United States are automatically presumed to have misrepresented their original intentions.

A situationship is an uncommitted, undefined romantic relationship between two people—meaning that those in this type of relationship have not established what they are to each other. While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing.

“People often pocket their partner because they've had bad experiences before, [or] they're insecure about the 'quality' of their social circle,” she says as examples. Understandable, sure, but still doesn't make the impact of their actions (or lack thereof) hurtful to you.

e.g. kissing, cuddling, or holding hands. Holding hands especially can become the most intimate act of love. By holding hands you can harmonize your energy systems and become one.

Caring and compassionate

A good wife exhibits both care and compassion. She is sensitive to the family's needs, and does her best to provide a solution. She understands when her husband is frustrated, and tries to make him happy. Her caring disposition makes sure the family does not lack in any aspect of life.

How much of your past should you reveal to your partner? ›

While your potential love interest needs to know about your past relationships to understand you better, you shouldn't share too much too soon. If you're still in the early stages of a relationship, bite your tongue and see where the relationship goes first. Take time to build trust and get to know your partner.

The spousal communications privilege applies in civil and criminal cases. It shields communications made in confidence during a valid marriage. The purpose of the privilege is to provide assurance that all private statements between spouses will be free from public exposure.

Men often think about expressing feelings of love first. On average, it took them 97.3 days to consider saying “I love you,” while it took women just about 138 days to consider saying the words. Men didn't just think about confessing before women. They were also more likely to say “I love you” first.

At what age do girls want a serious relationship? That's right - the research found that the average woman finds their life partner at the age of 25, while for men, they're more likely to find their soulmate at 28.

A dating red flag is a warning sign that appears during a date that could indicate a problem, miscommunication, or challenge in the future. Examples of dating red flags are: Talking only about themselves, avoiding difficult conversations, gossiping about their ex, and withholding affection..

You need the 4 C's: Communication, Collaboration, Consideration, and Compatibility. Yet as with many things that are simple, they're not always easy! Let's look at how they work to help build a relationship.

Relationship dynamics will go up and down based on communication, compromise and commitment, the 3C's.

Three love theory is centred around the idea that over the course of our lifetime, we will fall head-over-heels in love three times. As we progress through each 'love', we grow, evolve and inevitably get our hearts broken; that is, until we land on our third 'love', who some might consider 'the one'.

What are the 3 rules of the secret? ›

Here's the essence of The Secret book in 3 lessons: The law of attraction is one of the most prevalent principles in the world. To use the law of attraction, you must think about what you want, not what you want to avoid. The three steps of the law of attraction are asking, believing, and receiving.

There are three kinds of secrets: natural, promised, and entrusted. This is a broad division and various subdivisions might be introduced under each class. But these subdivisions have no particular moral relevance except under the third class of entrusted secrets.

Keeping your relationship private is a personal decision that needs to be mutual. But no matter what you and your partner share or don't share, the only thing that matters is that you both genuinely value each other more than the opinions of other people.

The privacy works to their personal defense and advantage. Meaning, they say they are private as a warning to others to not ask any personal questions or delve into their inner thoughts or space. The main reason they say this is because they don't want to be found out. They don't want to be discovered.

Having boundaries makes you a magnet for mutual and healthy relationships with connected people who are capable of love, honesty, respect, and loyalty. Being a private person also slays paranoia. You're no longer worried about who knows what story.

You can draw a line between secrecy and privacy by considering secrecy as an intention to hold specific information back, and privacy as a reflection of how much you broadcast personal information, in general. People who are more private require closeness before they let you in.

Privacy refers to your personal boundaries about your history, thoughts, opinions, and experiences separate from your partner and relationship. Secrecy, on the other hand, involves something that you are intentionally hiding from your partner.

Meaning, that it's not a secret that you are in a relationship but instead keeping the intimate details of the relationship private and keeping the opinions of others out.

How secrets can destroy a relationship? ›

It makes you constrict, put up walls, and want to pull away. Secrets lead to hiding, holding back, and defensiveness. We disconnect to prevent our secret from being discovered. Plus, over time, secrets wear away at our own mental and physical health and diminish our ability to be close and connected.

Too much secrecy can be a red flag because the actions being kept secret can often be dangerous, illegal, disloyal, and/or abusive. Be advised though, there is a BIG difference between secrecy and privacy. We deserve to have some “me time” and we deserve to have time to take care of ourselves on our own terms.

As previously mentioned, privacy in a relationship shows respect because it indicates that you and your partner are respecting boundaries. For this reason, it is important to have some privacy in a relationship. In fact, every person needs social boundaries, as well as time alone.

Public displays of affection (PDA) are acts of physical intimacy in the view of others.

Until and unless you're sure about your partner, you should definitely hold back from sharing your relationship status online. You must ask yourself if you're serious about it or not. Young couples are indecisive and generally impulsive, which makes them go on and off in a relationship.

If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.